Why Therapy? A brief note…
How can therapy help you?
If you haven’t experienced therapy before, it might be that you’re thinking:
“How is talking supposed to help me with the things I’ve been through? How will sitting opposite a stranger support me with my emotions; my thoughts; my life? Can I trust this therapist with my vulnerable moments and stories? Can I afford the time or money it takes to invest in therapy?”
Or you might have tried therapy before and had a less-than-ideal experience.
If I had to address these very valid thoughts in order, I wouldn’t hesitate to say that the power of talking is hugely underestimated in this world.
Much of the time, we speak to trusted friends and family and we might even go so far as to be really vulnerable with them, sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings. It is still so important to continue seeking the support of people you trust.
So often though, we aren’t truly heard.
The people closest to us will naturally have an agenda that isn’t completely focused on us as a person (they love us; they may be too emotionally invested in our lives to be objective; they may fear change; they may have their own stuff going on; they may even have their own biases or prejudices going on that make it impossible for them to understand where you’re coming from, etc.)
And this is where therapy can work well, alongside reaching out to your usual support network (if you have one).
A counsellor or psychotherapist will work entirely in service of you.
They will hear your individual experiences, thoughts and emotions, help to organise, unmuddle and focus your feelings, and work with you to find a way forward that suits your unique vision of your life. They will meet you in a place of empathy, non-judgement and acceptance, so that you can begin healing in a safe and boundaried environment, with you at the centre.
How often can we say that we are truly prioritised? I’d bet that it’s rare! But in therapy, that is a luxury afforded to you.
Which brings me to my next reflection.
There is no denying that therapy could be considered a luxury; in terms of time, and with regards to money in today’s economic climate. If time is the issue, you might decide that now isn’t quite the time to invest in therapy and that is OK. Take the time to feel ready… this is a journey after all.
If money is the issue, there are plenty of free mental health resources, and low cost therapy options for you to explore (see the end of this article).
If you’re wondering how you can trust a relative stranger to pour your soul out to, then I hope I can assuage some of these fears by saying that our job as therapists is to build that relational connection with you, so that you can develop a sense of trust at your own pace, and share only what you are ready to.
Confidentiality is a cornerstone of this process (your individual therapist will outline all the Ts and Cs of therapy with you, just to keep everyone safe). And if you don’t feel like the therapist is a good fit for you, it might be helpful to talk this through with them about why that might be…or simply do some more research and find someone you can feel safe and open with.
But before you decide the ‘why’ of therapy…
Please know what while you decide whether counselling is for you, you are (and will always be) deserving of understanding, acceptance, time and prioritisation.
So at the very least, try to make steps towards that in your own time.
After all, we owe ourselves a little peace now and again!
Links to free support resources:
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
(Free mental health support charity)
(Free mental health support charity)
https://www.spuk.org.uk/national-suicide-prevention-helpline-uk/
(a free lifeline for times of mental health crisis)